Unless you live under a rock lately, you have heard of the Ice Bucket Challenge. To give you the condensed version, because I don’t want to alienate my under-rock-dwellers, it is a challenge on Facebook to raise funds for ALS research. In short, a person accepts the challenge and videos themselves pledging to donate $10 to ALS research and dumping a bucket of ice water on their heads. The person then challenges 3 friends who have 24 hours to accept the challenge, or donate $100 to ALS (or charity of their choice). Honestly, you can’t swing the proverbial cat on Facebook without hitting on a dozen videos from friends and celebrities. As of this writing, the challenge has raised well over $15 million. Now you are probably thinking “That’s a fun and awesome way to raise money for a worthy cause…” but you would be wrong. Like almost anything anymore, there is a contingency of grumps out there who are trying to detract from the challenge. Everyday I open my news feed to see one more person bitching about how ridiculous it is, or one more forwarded video of someone trying to make everyone else feel bad about the challenge. It seems the Ice Bucket challenge is not just a way of raising awareness and funds, but a socio-economic indicator of how big of an asshole you can be.
It started with the occasional “Oh I am so tired of seeing all these ice bucket challenges on my news feed” whiney posts. So lets start there. So the hell what? You know if the President or Mark Zuckerberg or someone like that posts that all these ice bucket challenges are wearing them out, ok. Let’s face it: they deal with a lot of shit in a day and have a lot on their plate. On the other hand, I’d wonder why the President is doing so much Facebook time and why someone like Mark Z is smart enough to build Facebook but not smart enough to find someone to cruise the Interweb for him…but still, granted, they are pretty busy people. For the people who come through my news feed, however, let’s be honest, you people are on Facebook avoiding work so shut up. If seeing the videos are making you tired, try watching your work email for a little while. It’s a fun challenge that raises money, don’t watch if you don’t want to, you are being an asshole.
Then we moved to the “I don’t understand why dumping water on your head is a good thing….why don’t you just write a check???” Yeah, ok, let’s examine that. Certainly the ice bucket challenge came about because everyone donated money to it all the time. Seriously? The Ice Bucket Challenge came about because it’s sort of human nature to want to be recognized for what we do. The average person can afford $10 for charity, but would rather blow that $10 on a pretentious Starbucks drink instead. If they video themselves saying “Yo Facebook, I’m donating $10 to charity” everyone would give them crap about donating more, and would think they were douchebags for coming out and practically asking for recognition of their donation. The Ice Bucket Challenge lets those people have fun at their own expense and be recognized for doing something good. So really you don’t understand? Maybe someone should create a challenge for you for being sort of stupid.
Now the latest group of Assholes are the ones playing a game of social consciousness one-up-man-ship. Pamela Anderson, I’m looking at you. For those that don’t know, apparently Pam can’t participate because ALS research involves animal testing. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t condone animal testing for things like eyeliner and soap, or, wait for it………….SILICON BREAST IMPLANTS! Didn’t have a problem with that one when you were slo-mo running on Baywatch and smoking Tommy Lee pole did you Pam? But a deadly disease is causing you an attack of conscious? Give me a break. Even more douchebaggery, are the people who have to forward pictures like this:
Seriously? The Ice Bucket Challenge is really causing a drought in Africa? Then there are those people who think we should not waste the water at all because we could use that water to hydrate some non-GMO crops. Come ON!!! If it bothers you that bad, send your $10 to Africa! Or South America, or PETA, or whatever YOU think is the more important charity, but for fuck’s sake shut up, you have no idea how big of an asshole you are. That pedestal of social virtue you are sitting on is impaling you and the rest of the world wishing you would pull it out of your ass and get on with life.
The Ice Bucket Challenge started with a couple of friends trying to raise money in honor of their friend. Their friend who will die of ALS. Their friend who was diagnosed in the prime of his life and has to watch his body betray him in the cruelest of ways. How is that offensive to you? Why are the numerous other forwards not offensive, but a video you don’t have to watch is? Check yourself and get back to me on how much of an asshole you want to be.
For those who would like to participate, I nominate you. If you would rather just donate anonymously:
The ALS Association
Gift Processing Center
PO Box 6051
Albert Lea, MN 56007