Defending Miley

I had my share of wild times in my (continuing) youth, but one thing I never did is drop acid. If I had dropped acid, I’m sure it would look something akin to Miley Cyrus’s VMA performance. But no one is criticizing the aesthetic of the performance are they? No, they are criticizing the vulgarity of it. They are criticizing the desperation, the “LOOK AT ME” of the performance. Twerking and tongues and motor boating some giant ass…OH MY! Admittedly, it was a pretty disturbing performance, but my question is: did you not notice our teenage girls have been doing this on a smaller scale for years? Between Facebook, Twitter, texts, YouTube….you name it, girls are going out of their way to get attention for all the wrong reasons.

And even if they aren’t the social media types, they are dressing like prosti-tots. Recently, an aunt informed me that she had to buy clothes for her pre-teen daughter in the women’s petite section of a major upscale department store, because the clothes in juniors was just too revealing and sexualized. Let the irony of that just seep in for a minute: the juniors clothes were sleazier than the clothes for grown ass women! In Wal-Mart the other day, I passed by a display of matching lacy training bras and panties. Do you know what my training bra looked like? It looked like my grandmother’s handkerchief and a hefty bag mated and my bra got the worst from both. Why on earth does a pre-pubescent child need grown up looking underwear?

I am, at my very core, a feminist, but there has come a point where we have to just step back and ask ourselves if we are doing ourselves an injustice by allowing girls to flaunt their sexuality in so brazen of a way? Are we not doing an injustice to the girls AND putting them in harms way at the same time?  Indignation and the knowledge that no means no is little comfort when the act has been committed. Our brazen sexuality is moving ahead faster than the laws meant to protect us. Look at the girl gang raped by the football players in Ohio. Without Anonymous, these boys never would have gone to trial because there are still people out there who think if you act like a whore, you get treated like one.  I am, by no means, a prude. I fully support the idea that a woman can have a healthy and fulfilling sex life, can express her sexuality without feeling criticized, and should not feel she is damaged goods if she doesn’t marry the only man she’s slept with. But we give that advice and stop. Where is the continued advice that every aspect of our sexuality isn’t meant to be shared WITH THE WORLD. Where is the advice that sex should be used to draw you closer to someone you are already close with, not as a tool to get them to look at you and like you? There should be a reasonable pay off and we should think we are more valuable than that. We spend a great deal of time talking about birth control with our daughters, but we forget to mention there isn’t a pill to stop us from feeling like shit if we are having sex for all the wrong reasons. Sure we can have sex “Just because we want to”, but is that what it is? Is it really because you want to or is it because you think it is what is expected? Are you really wearing that outfit because it makes you feel confident or is it because you think you will get more attention?  We can’t complain that the men in our lives only want one thing when that’s the only part of ourselves we are showing the world.

Miley acted like a fool because she wanted to shock people. Her celebrity is falling, she has an album coming out and she needs to sell some music, and maybe financially, her performance will pay off, but it will come at a very high cost. We need to start asking our daughters if how they are behaving is worth it to them and find a way to find fulfillment with ourselves.

We can continue to criticize Miley’s performance, but it’s only a diversion. Miley’s performance is a mirror to a much larger issue. It’s time to sweep around your own doorstep for a while.


2 thoughts on “Defending Miley

  1. That was awesome, and I agree fully. Shared on my page, and I hope that your words of wisdom will separate some of the arguments about Miley from the arguments about our morals and ethics with our children in this country. Thank you for writing and sharing. ❤

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